Ladies, this post is for you. I’m about to give you a novel piece of advice that could save your business reputation – man up.
Here’s what I mean. We women tend to be – how shall I say it? – a bit weak in several business areas. Negotiations get us clammy and worried. Client upsets cause us sleepless nights. We get indignant, we fume, but we remain stationary and generally let the clients lead us. Before you know it someone dictates a price to us and we take it without looking back. Take a lesson from the men; that’s no way to run a successful business.
I’m not saying we suck as business people. I’m just saying some of us could use a little more work in convincing ourselves that we’re worth what we’re asking. Our male counterparts already assert their abilities without apology. That’s a lesson we should adopt without question.
The most successful women I know understand how to remove emotion, attachments, relationships, and unnecessary fears from their business dealings. In some of my more successful negotiations, I’ve screwed my confidence to the highest notch and took charge of the conversation, first showing how I know the topic, how I approach it, and what I charge. The last part is as matter-of-fact as the first two parts. It has to be. The minute you waffle when giving your price, they smell fresh blood. Don’t start a feeding frenzy. Assert your price.
Show of cyber hands – how many of us have had a client storm onto the scene, dictating our working conditions, telling us what we’re getting paid, pushing us to work when we’re not able to, and generally running a bit roughshod over us in some form? My hand’s up. I’ve had clients come charging in questioning my rate AFTER having signed the contract. That’s not how professionals do business. Since I’m a professional, I’m not accepting that kind of behavior. Nor should you.
It’s already tough enough in the market. If James Chartrand’s story showed us anything it’s that gender bias is alive and rampant. As women, we may have to work harder in order to define, protect, and defend our businesses. So be it. We’re tough when we need to be.
So let’s pretend emotions don’t matter when it comes to our business because hey, they don’t. Emotions have no business being IN business. And if you’re earning money for your writing, you’re in business, so this applies to you. If you have to, adopt a male persona in your head. Pretend you’re Thor the Avenger – no wait, that’s mine. Would Thor accept $5 an article? No he wouldn’t! And neither will you.
I’m kidding about the male persona, of course (unless it works, then it was all my idea). Better is to emulate a strong woman you know. The point is bring more professionalism to your business and less waffling. You’re fantastic. Now convince yourself of it and get earning.
Do you feel confident in your negotiations, pricing, business practices? Where do you feel a bit weak? What’s your strongest asset?
Confidence in quoting fees has come with time and practice. But when I was first starting out, a friend and I would role play quoting our fees with each other. It helped a lot. What's funny to me now is that I wouldn't even turn my computer on today for the fees I nervously stuttered over back then.
My experience as a union negotiator has helped me enormously.
And, after all, my nickname is The Demon Contract Bitch From Hell.
I resemble that remark.
Devon, I strive to emulate you. LOL!
Great idea, Eileen!
4 years later and I still struggle with the negotiations or rather, lack thereof. Most times I just don't bother with negotiating or I will simply not take on that project.
Life experiences sure can make you stronger. I have been called just about every name you could conjure up by a lot of people in my life.
Now, when a client gets angry and uses "colorful" language with me, I don't take it personally. Even if it was meant to be personal. I can give a polite response with whatever the situation warrants and move on with no regrets.
Good timing, Lori. Just yesterday I sent off a quick e-mail in response to a website wanting articles on a specialized topic I write about a lot. While they paid 10-to-30 times what content mills pay, some of the stories they wanted seemed like a lot of work for little pay. But knowing I had contacts and knowledge in place, and might even be able to re-purpose some recent interviews to lower my time commitment, I decided to contact the editors. I didn't send a query as requested, since I didn't want to waste precious time on something they might not want. I just sent a quick e-mail outlining my experience and offering a link to my LinkedIn profile. I said I'd be happy to approach my contacts about specific topics if I knew exactly what they needed.
After I sent it, I was awash with this feeling that my e-mail would come across as arrogant. I kinda doubt a man would have felt that way. After reading your post, I'm not feeling quite so arrogant. After all, I've worked long and hard to establish these contacts and a reputation in a very specialized field. While this place doesn't pay very well, I thought I could knock some insightful pieces off fast enough so my hourly rate was still acceptable.
We'll see.
Now Nikki, go out there and state what you're worth, woman! You ARE worth it. Why? Because you've made money at it and dammit, you have talent. And while you're at it, post more to your blog. I miss hearing what you're up to. 🙂
It's because you're a professional, Wendy. I've been called all sorts of names. I know writers who have had their sexuality questioned because the poser-client didn't like the idea of paying the bill. Sticks and stones. Only difference is my stone is a legal one – my invoice and accompanying contract. That's going to hurt a LOT more than some schoolyard antics.
Way to go, Paula! Don't feel arrogant – feel as though you deserve respect.
Great post Lori!
For some reason, negotiations are tough for me too. I even know what I should do, but even with this knowledge I still hesitate sometimes. It's a struggle to be more confidant and assertive.
It never occurred to me to adopt a male persona, but the James Chartrand story was a bit of an eye opener. I always just assumed that I was having the same struggles in this area that men do.
One thing that helps me is encouragement. I keep a little file whenever anyone makes an encouraging remark. Then, if I'm feeling wimpy I can pull it out and remind myself that I AM worth it.
Best wishes to all your lady readers!
Nice seeing you here, Laura! How've you been?
I think it's more of adopting a stronger attitude. Any way to practice in email conversations? That was how I broke through the barrier.
It helped that I was a single mom for a while. When there's no male backup in the house, you have to take on that role, too. That means dropping emotion, stating firmly what you expect, and backing that up with consequences. Move that over to writing – drop the fears and other emotions, state firmly your rate, and walk if you need to.
I still want to be like Devon – the Demon Contract Bitch from Hell. 🙂