Dear cheap startup, viral marketer, and any other “employer” wanting writing for nothing:
I keep seeing your ads all over the Internet. And I hope your responses from actual writers are more of the “you must be joking” variety than people actually foolish enough to think you mean what you say. I’d like to bring up a few points with you. Going forward, I hope you understand that the following is something we will not budge on.
I will not be moved by your exclamation point overload. Even one sends up a red flag. Two sends chills up my spine. Three to 30? That sends you right into the spam folder.
I will not partake of your offer of free exposure. I have a weblog. I have a website. I have all the free exposure I need, thank you. I know it’s a spin put on your ad to divert from the obvious – you’re not paying. Go away now.
Your labor of love means nothing to me. Seriously. Do you care that my business is a labor of love? No? Then why on earth should I care about yours? Oh, because I don’t. It’s just another ploy to get someone to buy into your dream without you having to invest in it yourself.
I really don’t believe it when you say if I do this for a few bucks now, you’ll compensate me better later on. Call me crazy, but I believe that business people should not start a business if they don’t have adequate funding for that business. Also, your lack of planning does not mean I’m itching to make sacrifices for you. Here’s a thought – how about you sacrifice something and pay me my standard fee? A weak-assed business model like yours won’t make it too far into the future, and I want my compensation now, thanks.
I won’t be available 24/7 via email, IM, or any other method. You aren’t paying me enough to own my every minute, so listing such silly requirements in your job ad is pointless. Oh, unless you’re truly interested in paying benefits. Requirements that are that strict changes the definition of our relationship from client-contractor to employer-employee. And laws exist that make it your job to pick up my healthcare the minute you put such strict parameters around my time.
I’m not revising or rewriting anything that didn’t originate from you or me. Let me clarify – if you didn’t originate the copy you want me to revise or if I didn’t write it for you specifically, it’s called theft. It’s plagiarism, copyright infringement, and it’s illegal. Not to mention sleazy. Pay people decently to originate copy for you and you can avoid ugly lawsuits.
I won’t work for you if I don’t know where you are. Please. Addresses from PO boxes are SO last year’s scam artist tactics. Man up and get a real address. Unless your goal is to con people into doing work for you and then not paying, in which case we’re on to you. No address, no work.
If it’s perfect for the stay-at-home mom or the college student, then don’t expect a real writer. You’re hysterical. You require industry expertise, college degrees, and references. But for what? $1 articles? Either target people who aren’t real writers or pay more for professionals. Otherwise, stop annoying the hell out of everyone.
I won’t engage in a bidding war with you or anyone else. Here’s my rate. If you ask nicely and give me sound reasons why, I may consider a one-time price break. If you’re shopping around for the cheapest writer, you’re not serious enough about quality.
No free samples. Ever. I have enough experience and enough clips to show you my writing ability. If you want something more targeted to your industry, that comes with a fee. To expect a “writing test” upon application is absurd, especially if the writers are experienced. From my experience, you don’t have the editorial background to be able to tell anything from those samples. Try this – rely instead on track record and client recommendations. Stop wasting everyone’s time and for the love of Pete, stop trying to trick us into giving you free copy through these “tests.” Do you honestly think we hadn’t figured that out yet?
So take these to heart, cheapskates. If I have anything to say about it, you’ll no longer have access to professional writers. Instead, you’ll get the uninformed, unskilled, and wanna-be crowd who don’t know enough about writing or negotiations to stand up for themselves. The rest of us have real clients to tend to, thank you.
Sincerely,
A professional writer
Want to add to the list?
You can't forget my favorite- Let's fluff up the job title/duties to confuse you into thinking your getting a high-paying position. Those "Executive Assistant Associate Editor to Manage Content" is nothing but fru fru to disguise the fact that you're getting pocket change. But, of course, you have an important title, so it should be okay- or so they think.
I just love those exclamation points; especially when they follow "YOU CAN WORK FROM HOME!!!!!"
I have a post up in tandem to this one (unplanned) on integrity when you decide on a job, up on the SDR blog:
http://thescruffydogreview.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/integrity/
Lori, getting an address is a good idea. I should do that more often. Usually I get one even without making this a requirement, but in retrospect it ought to be.
Amen, Lori!
If i had time to waste, I'd reply to some of those ads just to make sure the idiots get a real writer's perspective on their glorious offers of exposure, unlimited click-through income, and maybe a whole dollar or two in exchange for 5-10 hours worth of time and effort.
Devon, that's a super blog post. Everyone, go give it a read. It bears repeating that we are how we represent ourselves, and that includes with client projects.
What, Wendy? You don't want to be Lead Internet Researcher and Marketing Assistant Executive? 😉
Katharine, the reason I've added that one is because too many times there's no way to contact them should a problem arise (especially a late payment problem). If I don't know where you are, I can't chase the money owed, nor can I locate the appropriate small claims court to gain restitution.
Save your breath, Paula. They'll just hire the first wanna-be who finds it an honor to be hired by such clowns. I know. It's enough to make me beat my head repeatedly against the keyboard. But my hair keeps getting stuck on the space bar…. LOL
Not impressed by exclamation points?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
But I thought those were the punctuation gods' way of infusing sentences with excitement!!!!!!!!!
Without exclamation points, how can we possibly hope to create a sense of urgency & immediacy?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I mean, italics, bold, underlining and using all those cool different fonts & colors can only take us so far!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Without exclamation points, we'd have to go to all that trouble of finding a qualified writer who could create valuable, nuanced & meaningful copy — and do you have any idea how much *that* would cost?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Wait — what?
Tell 'em, Lori!:~)
Love this post Lori. I just can't believe all the people out there who have no respect for writers whatsoever. It's really infuriating and sad. You've done me proud with this post 🙂
Hugh!!! There you are!!!! I've missed you!!!! How are you?!!!! It's GREAT seeing you, HUGH!!!!! Now don't you feel SPECIAL because of this greeting?????? Yea, didn't think so. :))
Thanks, PS. 🙂 I'm hoping to make a point not so much with the people who don't pay decent wages, but more with writers who accept that kind of treatment. It IS infuriating and sad, I agree. On both side of the equation.
I'm on a tear, Kim. You know what I'm like when that happens. 🙂
Speaking of cheapskates…here's an offer I received today.
Rates are fixed for each writer depending on the quality of their work. Writers are paid based on the quality of their work, and amount of articles that they churn out per day. All rates will be specified with every assignment, so you will know what you are taking on at the outset.
In general we pay
1. RATE – $3 to $4 for 500 words – original articles
2. RATE – $1 for a news rewrite of 350 – 400 words
3. EDITORS – RATE – $1 to $1.5 per every 500 words (depending on word count, quality of article and duration of deadline)
In addition to this there are special projects that will have payment rates that may be higher/lower than our usual rates.
Let me know if you are interested.
Ummm, yeah, I might be if you multiplied your rates by between 30 and 50. I don't command the rates some of you do, but WTF?? Three dollars for 500 words.
So in conclusiong…another red flag: using phrases like "churn out" when referring to article writing.
Oops… in conclusion
Wow, Krista, that's a hoot of an ad. "Writers are paid for the quality of their work." At $3-$4, no less. Hmm… let me think about this.
Yeah, if you do an awesome job, you'll get $4. If you wrote 8 great articles a day (one an hour), that's…$32????
I don't even bother responding to these "offers" any more.
Wow, so if I handed them trash, I'd still get $3? If I kill myself to do a great job I get $4? Well, let me think. I really want that large Starbucks chai, but I'm so tired today….
These are a hoot!
So, so sooooooooo true…
You can get 3.5$ per article on free, not exclusive content sites.
Why would somebody ask me to write exclusive, white label, content for them at that rate is a mistery. I think they just end up getting the people who cannot even write to the above mentioned sites because they cannot write in English. Or just produce software spinned articles.
I probably will never make a living off writing, but at least I won't work for those scammers!