1. You cannot sleep sitting upright on a moving plane. You just can’t. It’s the head-bobbing thing. Unless you have a rubber neck, it’s not happening. And the seats just don’t recline enough. Nap before you leave.
2. They call them pounds for a reason. Just try walking with a pocket full of them. It’s why most older people in the UK list to one side or walk hunched over. Old ladies with big handbags are carrying the equivalent of a sack of bricks.
3. Shorts are pointless. Don’t bother packing them.
4. Bangers and mash do not describe an accident scene or pornography.
5. People who do jumping jacks on an airplane are annoying.
6. Not everyone is considerate enough to not bend over in the aisles of the plane, and stay that way, with their butts in your face.
7. Most cars in the UK are manual transmission. And you must shift with the other hand.
8. It rains. Take an umbrella or a hat. Expect bad hair the entire trip. Learn to love the frizz.
9. Act as the natives do. If they’re not whooping it up and talking loudly, resist the urge to laugh out loud. They hate Americans as it is. Don’t give them more ammunition.
10. They eat lots of meat and potatoes. They have tons of footpaths. They have even more benches. But don’t expect to find a litter bin anytime soon.
11. Clotted cream – just consider the name and go without.
12. Tea time is habit forming.
13. Don’t expect to find anywhere to eat between 2:30 and 6 pm. If you’re hungry, find a grocery.
14. If you hate the thought of paying over $4 a gallon for gas, spend a week in the UK paying $10 a gallon for the same gas.
15. The reason I came home relaxed: Garmin nuvi 660 GPS equipped with a European map. It took us to the most remote of B&B locations without a single hitch. I have a makeshift altar set up if anyone else cares to worship the electronic dynamo.
16. The Brits refer to American tourists in this manner: “If it’s Wednesday it must be Great Britain.” Apparently, they think we travel too much. Yet I don’t think they realize when they come here, they do the same thing. I say I’m spending money in your country – why do you care where I’m going tomorrow? It’s jealousy. I’m convinced of it. 🙂
You’re a hoot! 🙂