The Sabotage That is Family
I love my family. I really do. My kids are great. My stepkids are an extension of my own kids. My husband is the best man in the world. Yet while they are terrific, they are also the closest thing to saboteurs that a career could possibly come across. I say this lovingly, yet very seriously. If you’re not careful, you’re going to allow your family to kill your career before it starts.
It’s not that they mean to interfere. In fact, they’re the loudest cheerleaders to your cause. But dear freelancer, if you can’t establish boundaries now and hold firm to them, you’ll soon find those 8 hours you set aside for work to be filled with calling the plumber or running someone to the dentist or even getting something at the grocery store.
That’s because in their minds, you’re home. You have flexible hours, and you have no boss to answer to when you need to run out for a few minutes. That makes you fair game. Someone needs a ride somewhere. You’re home – you can do it. Oh wait, someone needs something at school and needs it now – again, off you go. And your husband wants to see a movie. Can you look up the reviews online, dear? Add to this the fact that you love these people and want to help them under normal circumstances, and your career has just been toasted.
Even the strongest among us are sucked into the trap – last week, I threatened to get a “real” job outside the house just so I could get something done. Twelve phone calls in an hour and a half (I wish I were kidding), five of them from these people in the house. While that was happening, one or two were begging for car keys – and yes, when I’m up to my neck in work, that’s the best chance you’ll hear a yes to that request – and another needing a ride to the dentist. Luckily, I managed to give the keys to the beggar and rope that one into taking the other to the dentist. But even that kind of coordination takes time away from my day. I tried for ten minutes to finish typing one sentence. I knew what I wanted to say, but the interruptions were endless. Add to that the complaints that I don’t answer the phone every time it rings nor do I take down numbers of people unwilling to share that info. I’m sorry – I’m working. If you want a secretary, hire one.
I work long days. I start before 8 am and shut the computer off somewhere after 6 or 7 pm, depending on the workload or how fried my brain is. When school is in session, I can bank on 7 uninterrupted hours of work time. However, summer is a free-for-all. Luckily, Labor Day looms and the house is slowing emptying. I hate seeing them go, but I welcome the return of my sanity, and my career.
Amen! I go through this frequently. Somehow we all manage to make it through the day and the work gets done.
Andrew
To Love, Honor and Dismay
Oy vey, Lori, I know exactly what you mean. For some reason, my husband frequently calls ME instead of people AT HIS JOB to make sure the Internet link-up to whatever it is that he does is working. Um, hi, I DON’T WORK FOR THEM. I actually have MY OWN JOB. We’re working through it. By which I mean that I told him never to call me for that again because I’M NOT DOING IT ANYMORE. :]
Kristen
LOL! Now that’s something I’ve not run into! I do get requests to call this one or arrange this thing or that, but I don’t think any of my family has ever brought a work problem to me to solve!
It’s tough for them because there is no clear line between us working and us being at home otherwise. I think Andrew up there would agree, too. It’s helped me to not jump up the minute someone comes home and greet them. They come to me, they see me working and in their mind I’m still home, but I’m occupied.